So I start with a play going on in my head, and then my mind starts injecting modern language into the play, and then you add a distorted sense of humor and you end up with stuff that some may find blasphemy! I mean who am I to write my own version of a story out of the bible, a good question for sure. I can assure you there is no disrespect intended, just the opposite. Jesus has entered my life and saved me, I am nothing and would have nothing without Him. There are just times when I read parts of the bible and find the situations worthy of another look, a different take if you will.
Whenever I read John 9 a whole scene burts forth into my head, and I finally wrote it down, enjoy :)
Jesus and his disciples passed a man blind since birth.
Disciples: Rabbi who sinned this man or his parents? We need to know who to pass judgement on, ya know, for closure?
Jesus: (muttering to himself) So much to teach, so little time.
Jesus: This was not the work of sin, but that the works of God may be displayed. We must work the works of He who sent me while it is still day, night is coming. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.
Disciples: Yes of course, we knew that!
Disciple 1 to Disciple 2: Dude, did you get that? He lost me.
Disciple 2 to Disciple 1: I was really hoping you knew what he was talking about! Just nod and say "Yes Rabbi" a lot.
Jesus placed mud in the blind man's eyes and told him to wash his eyes, and he came back with sight.
His neighbors saw him and questioned whether it was the same man who had been blind just minutes before.
Neighbor 1: Nah, can't be him, who is this guy?
Blind Man: Bob, its me, we've known each other our whole life!
Neighbor 2: I'm not buying it, that dude was blind, nope you must be an imposter pretending to be a guy who used to be blind.
Blind Man: Really Joe, really? Thats the best you got? I'm walking around pretending to be a guy who used to be blind that just so happens to look exactly like the blind man you've been passing by your whole life? Seriously!?!?
Neighbor 2: Why you mad Bro?
Neighbor 1: Ok ok so how can you see now?
Blind Man: A man named Jesus healed me, he put mud in my eyes and when I washed my face I could see.
Neighbor 2: So where is he now?
Blind Man: I was blind when he put the mud in my eyes remember, how am I supposed to know where he went!
Neighbor 1: Good point.
The Pharisees heard the ruckus and came to save the day!
Pharisee 1: Stay calm and bow to our brilliance!
Blind Man: I don't have a good feeling about this.
Pharisee 1 to Blind Man: So you are telling me that this man, you call Jesus, healed you of your blindness on the Sabbath?
Blind Man: Well, I was blind and now I see, and it happens to be the Sabbath....so I guess the answer is yes.
Pharisee 1: Then he disobeyed the law, he is a sinner and not of God!
Pharisee 2: Dude, keep it down, lets think about this. Its not like you can cure a blind man. You have to admit this is pretty remarkable. Who cares what day it is?
Pharisee 1: Dude, ever heard of a unified front? Go with me on this, its the Sabbath, the book says no works on the Sabbath, there's no addendum for the Son of God!
Blind Man: This is sounding like a you problem.
Pharisee 1: Silence!
Blind Man: Just sayin'.
Pharisee 2: Lets at least talk to his parents, they are right over there, maybe we can get to the bottom of this.
Pharisee 1 to Parents: Are you the parents of this disrespectful heathen that mocks us, says he was blind and now sees, this dirty rotten scoundrel of a Pharisee mocker?!?!?
Parents: He's adopted.
Pharisee 1: Was he always blind?
Parents: Can we consult with a lawyer first?
Pharisee 2: No!
Parents: All we're willing to commit to is that he was visually challenged, but he's a grown man so talk to him, gotta run, buh bye.
Pharisee 1 to Blind Man: Tell us again how you now see?
Blind Man: Did you not hear me the first time? Why do you want to hear it again, do you also want to be his disciple?
Pharisee 2: We are disciples of Moses! We know God spoke to Moses, but this man we don't even know where he's from!
Blind Man: So if I get you his address we'll be all good?
Pharisee 1: Blasphemer!!!!!
Blind Man: But what about his acts, who has heard of a man born blind being cured before this? How can this not be a man of God?
Pharisee 1: Don't go injecting logic into this discussion!
Blind Man: C'mon Man!
Pharisee 2: Sinner! You are have been voted off the island!
Blind Man: No big loss there, later!
Jesus heard of the blind man being cast off and found him.
Jesus to Blind Man: Do you believe in the Son of Man?
Blind Man: Lord I believe.
Jesus: I have come so that those who do not see may see, and those that see may become blind.
Pharisee 1: So does that mean we are blind Mr "Son of Man" guy?
Jesus: If you were blind you would be without guilt, but because you say "We see" your guilt remains.
Pharisee 1 to Pharisee 2: Dude, pretty sure he's mocking us but he lost me. Did you get that?
Pharisee 2: I was really hoping you knew what he was talking about!
